I always feel like a stranger.

‘I don’t know how many souls I have.
I’ve changed at every moment.
I always feel like a stranger.
I’ve never seen or found myself.
From being so much, I have only soul.
A man who has soul has no calm.
A man who sees is just what he sees.
A man who feels is not who he is.
Attentive to what I am and see,
I become them and stop being I.
Each of my dreams and each desire
Belongs to whoever had it, not me.
I am my own landscape,
I watch myself journey –
Various, mobile, and alone.
Here where I am I can’t feel myself.
That’s why I read, as a stranger,
My being as if it were pages.
Not knowing what will come
And forgetting what has passed,
I note in the margin of my reading
What I thought I felt.
Rereading, I wonder: “Was that me?”
God knows, because he wrote it.’

– Fernando Pessoa

The silence of God.

The knight in The Seventh Seal (1957), perhaps [Ingmar Bergman’s] most famous film, is a tenacious and tortured seeker, who wants to believe. His shield-bearer is somewhat cynical and incredulous, although also compassionate. Like a revisited Don Quijote and Sancho Panza of Miguel Cervantes, they face Death itself, horrendous, devious and relentless…

DEATH: You want guarantees?
KNIGHT: Call it whatever you like. Is it so cruelly inconceivable to grasp God with the senses? Why should He hide himself in a mist of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles? (DEATH doesn’t answer.)
KNIGHT: How can we have faith in those who believe when we can’t have faith in ourselves? What is going to happen to those of us who want to believe but aren’t able to? And what is to become of those who neither want to nor are capable of believing? (The KNIGHT stops and waits for a reply, but no one speaks or answers him. There is complete silence.)
KNIGHT: Why can’t I kill God within me? Why does He live on in this painful and humiliating way even though I curse Him and want to tear Him out of my heart? Why, in spite of everything, is He a baffl­ing reality that I can’t shake off? Do you hear me? DEATH: Yes, I hear you. KNIGHT: I want knowledge, not faith, not suppositions, but knowledge. I want God to stretch out His hand towards me, reveal Himself and speak to me.
DEATH: But He remains silent.
KNIGHT: I call out to Him in the dark but no one seems to be there.
DEATH: Perhaps no one is there.
KNIGHT: Then life is an outrageous horror. No one can live in the face of death, knowing that all is nothingness.
DEATH: Most people never reflect about either death or the futility of life.

See http://evangelicalfocus.com/blogs/3493/Bergman_and_the_silence_of_God_jose_de_segovia_review

The weakness of God

Deconstructing Jon Caputo: Weak Theology


Full article:


“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

– 1 Corinthians 1:27

“God lets himself be pushed out of the world on to the cross,” he wrote. “He is weak and powerless in the world, and that is precisely the way, the only way, in which he is with us and helps us. [The Bible] … makes quite clear that Christ helps us, not by virtue of his omnipotence, but by virtue of his weakness and suffering. … The Bible directs man to God’s powerlessness and suffering; only the suffering God can help.”

– Dieterich Bonhoeffer

I first encountered the idea of the weakness of God in the work of the Russian existentialist Christian philosopher Nicholas Berdyaev, where he writes,

“To God is not applicable the category of a ruling power, since it is too lowly a category for God, and it is taken from the lower spheres of social life. God has no sort of ruling power, He has less power than a policeman.” (1)

As a “Born Again” Christian in the 1980’s, breathing the heady air of a macho, triumphalist Kingdom Theology preached by confident evangelicals, fiery Pentecostals, cheery Charismatics and self-important Word of Faith prophet-preachers – the notion of the weakness of God was as foreign to that milieu as anything. Theirs was a victorious God, and by association we were on the Victor’s side. A triumphant, glorified Jesus was preached, a sort ofJoshua oroDavid style warrior king. There was this de facto assumption: Jesus is KING, right? And when you’re born again, you’ve become the “Kings Kid” – heir in this life and the next to all the promises of The Covenant (healing, prosperity, the gifts of the Spirit, just name it and claim it!). Indeed: even “mustard seed faith” is going to release the power of Almighty God.

Except: perhaps they were wrong.

Perhaps the fundamentalist, the inerrantist evangelical who believes the Bible to be some kind of divine amanuensis has the wrong idea about what this power is. His concept of Power is based on one the world embraces; but the Jesus revealed in the Gospels was clearly at pains to explain that his kingdom was not of this world – that the character of His kingdom was fundamentally opposed to the value systems of this world, and all the idols we extol and cling to.

If it were not so, we might have expected this King to have been born in a slightly less abject place than a filthy stable.



So what if this Dominion and Kingdom theology – theologies of power and might, of Kings Kids, winners and spiritual Ubermensch, is a contradiction of all that Jesus proclaimed?




See https://disquietsite.com/thus-the-wolves-devour-the-flock/ and https://disquietsite.com/evangelicalism/



At every point censured for questioning the kegitmacy of their teachings, I finally extricated myself from their theology.

I quickly discovered that this particular brand of Christianity was neck deep in charlatans, sex and money scandals, in self-proclaimed prophets who broked no criticism, in heterodox teachings derived from cultic sources, shoddy or non-existent theology and downright lies. As for the healing power of God: it was a part of the magic show, more smoke and mirrors giving cover to the wolves devouring the sheep. As someone pointed out rather scathingly recently, have you heard of one verifiable incident where an amputee grew new limbs after the laying on of hands? Ah, there is much brouhahah, much shouting of Amen! Glory! Hallelujah! but their God, for all their pronouncements of his power and might, seems merely to tweak a little here and there, a disappointing Wizard of Oz.








d is a theme I became increasingly drawn to as I became increasingly disillusioned with evangelicalism’s shoddy theology and lack of textual criticism, it’s fanatical insistence on biblical inerrancy (Isak Du Plessis and Bart Ehrmann were just the beginning of the disruption of the dogma I had come to distrust).

The blatant heresy of the Word of Faith movement was easily recognized, but Biblical (Higher) Criticism and Textual criticism was a remarkably freeing experience.

Another formative moment in my disillusionment with the a evangelical God (apart from all the sex and money scandals which seem to follow the televangelists) was when I realised how much sham and blatant lying was going on. Heterodox theology one might excuse, but the lies were a turning point or me. The lies around healing were particularly disturbing, to see the damage caused. The macho all-powerful God of the evangelicals and Pentecostals was a sham. The wheelchair healings were staged. The seriously ill who didn’t recover were blamed for their lack of faith. There is not one confirmed incident of an amputee growing a new limb, but headaches a plenty have been healed! The razamatazz and hullabaloo turned out to be one more shabby moneymaking racket which hadls duped the world. I won’t go into detail here, but the catalyst for me involved ardent prayer for a mentally and physically disabled girl in a wheelchair. God never healed her. It was an important incident to witness, and the question returned: where is the evidence for this omnipotent God, beyond the presumptuous claims of Charismatic Christians? To continue to adhere to this nonsense was to endure cognitive dissonance on a grand scale.


hilosophy, or theology, of weakness means that things are tentative.”

“The idea of the weakness of God is completely biblical. 1 Corinthians 4 demonstrates what Caputo means by the weakness of God. There Paul points to God’s solidarity with those who have nothing, who are weak. God stands with the weak. There is no omnipotent being in waiting. The weakness of God is a strategy. It exposes the call to justice.”

“Is it possible that a supreme being could exist? Maybe. “I just don’t believe it,” Caputo said. Understanding God as a supreme being leaves the impossible problem of explaining how an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good God coexists with so much evil. Caputo is suspicious of big stories, or theories of everything. Those stories are representations and pictures. They do not tell us what is really out there. They are what Don Cupitt calls “maps” of reality, but even the maps themselves are representations and pictures. If there is a supreme being, we are in trouble. He is more trouble than he is worth. “And he is a he.” Maybe there is a supreme being, but Caputo hopes not.”

The weakness of God is the Kingdom of God. This is the point where the Jesus Seminar meets Derrida. The Kingdom of God is about the ethics of hospitality to a stranger, about unconditional forgiveness. And forgiveness is what got Jesus into trouble.

In response Sarah Morice Brubaker pointed out that weakness of God theology means that there is no attempt to rescue God from vulnerability.

Brandon Scott stated that Jesus’ Kingdom of God is something that will never be, it is always oncoming,”

“For Caputo, God does not exist; God insists. Theology is a radical way to think. God does not exist: God is a provocation. We are to fill what is missing in the body of God.

Religion is a Vorstellung, a poem; it is theopoetics; it is poetry where the subject matter is God. Revelation is poetry. It undermines the traditional distinction between reason and revelation. Hegel does not have a key to the poem, nor do other philosophers. God remains an eternal coming, a verb, not a being, but becoming in the horizon. God is the promise of weak force, of justice to come, of the eternal perhaps.”

“So, when we talk about God’s perfection (known in the theology biz as “immutability”), we talk of God’s perfect wisdom, perfect will, perfect goodness, perfect truth, and perfect love. But we also – and I daresay disproportionately – talk of God’s perfect power. This is where strong theology paints itself into a corner. If God’s power is perfect, able to enact his (and this God is always a he) perfect will perfectly, then that leaves little room for our involvement. If God has all the power, then we have none, which makes God responsible for everything, not us. Because this seems absurd, we tend to insist on our free will, in part because we experience ourselves as making choices, but also because we are told that we are, in fact, responsible for all the evil in the world. As we understand it, there has to be evil in order for us to have free will. Yet, we still speak of God intervening in our lives. We pray to God to do so. If God does – in fact, if God even can – then God is again responsible for everything. That is, if God picks and chooses when to allow evil to happen, then God is responsible for all of it. We rely on God’s perfect wisdom to assert that there must be some reason for these decisions, some reason we can’t understand, but I will side with Dostoevsky’s Ivan and say that there is no greater good that makes the torture and death of a child okay. Caputo: “But right from the start, the one thing that constantly accompanied the faith in God’s merciful and compassionate power of intervention in human affairs is the sense of confusion, even dumb-foundedness, at the regularity with which that compassion is contradicted by the empirical record of nonintervention in the face of violence and injustice.” Unfortunately, our tradition has erased any alternatives; it is the only way we have of thinking about God.

Caputo suggests that we think, instead, of God as an event. That is, rather than concern ourselves with God’s existence, God’s being, we think about God happening. Specifically, he suggests that we understand God as a call to which we might respond. Caputo: “I am trying to displace thinking about God as the highest and best thing that is there by starting to think that God is the call that provokes what is there, the specter that haunts what is there, the spirit that breathes over what is there.” This is a beautifully weak God. God does not have the power to bend the world to God’s perfect will, but rather cries out to us in hope. God doesn’t exist; God insists.” – http://churchinthecliff.org/weak-theology/




(1) Concerning Authority, Freedom and Humanness, 1936


I found this at faithonline: the typical wof response…

The Lord is powerful; He is Lord of all things, including disease. All of Scripture makes clear what Psalm 103:19 affirms: “The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.” …The Lord “heals all your diseases.” How do we know that to be true? Scripture says so.


“David, who may have written, “The Lord heals all your diseases,” had an infant son who became ill. “David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the night lying on the ground. … On the seventh day the child died” (2 Samuel 12:13ff). Poor prayer was not the issue.


Acrobatic theodicy bull

God is omnipotent. That is, He is all powerful and therefore He is the creator who makes everything. Nothing is impossible for Him. He has not only has set the natural laws of physics, he sustains them, and he can change them or suspend them. When he changes them or suspends them, this is a miracle. This is God’s creation and he can do with it whatever he pleases. However, he has made it clear that miracles are rare and that they have purposes. We live in the natural world according to the natural laws He has set in place. If He wants to change something for a particular reason He has the prerogative to do that.

This God is involved in every aspect of creation through His providence. Providence is God’s mysterious and unseen moving of every molecule of creation. He is directing every decision, every action, and every event at every moment according to His wise plan and good pleasure. When contemplated, this is really far more staggering than any mere miracle. This will be important a little further down in the discussion so hang in there….http://www.odfellowship.org/blog/post/why-doesn-t-god-heal-amputees

The Devil in Paradise

“The wealthiest 1 percent of the world’s population now owns more than half of the world’s wealth, according a Credit Suisse report.” CBNC





‘The offshore industry makes “the poor poorer” and is “deepening wealth inequality,” said Brooke Harrington, a certified wealth manager and Copenhagen Business School professor who is the author of “Capital without Borders: Wealth Managers and the One Percent.”¹

“There is this small group of people who are not equally subject to the laws as the rest of us, and that’s on purpose,” Harrington said. These people “live the dream” of enjoying “the benefits of society without being subject to any of its constraints”.

Two years ago, Thabo Mbeki, who chaired the African Union (AU) panel on illicit flows, said that over the last five decades it is believed that Africa lost more than $1-trillion in “illicit financial outflows”.

Even today, Mbeki said the continent loses about $50-billion every year through these illicit flows, based on data from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and other sources. 

“The various tax havens and financial secrecy jurisdictions in Africa and elsewhere in the world are at the centre of the problem,” he said.’

– http://amabhungane.co.za/article/2017-11-06-paradise-papers-sa-names-aplenty-in-massive-new-tax-haven-leak


1.’How do the one percent hold on to their wealth? And how do they keep getting richer, despite financial crises and the myriad of taxes on income, capital gains, and inheritance? “Capital without Borders” reveals how wealth managers use offshore banks, shell corporations, and trusts to shield billions in private wealth not only from taxation but from all manner of legal obligations. And it shows how practitioners justify their work, despite evidence that it erodes government authority and contributes to global inequality.’ – From Amazon review of Capital without Borders


No glimpse of an elsewhere or an otherwise.

The Art of Resistance | John Berger, Critic & Prophet | By Eugene McCarraher | January 2, 2017


“Characterized by the lack of a credible alternative to the glittering imperium of capital, the ensuing twenty-five years have been the Age of the Operator [the forces of pecuniary and technological utility united under the aegis of capital] neoliberal economics, a hustling ethos, the divinization of markets and technology, the hegemony of a consumer society given over to spectacle and fueled by debt. As Berger writes in his latest book, Portraits … “the future has been downsized,” restricted to the mercenary parameters of finance capital and digital technocracy. Neoliberal capitalism fulfills the “strange prophecy” depicted in the hellish right-hand panel of Hieronymus Bosch’s Millennium Triptych: “no glimpse of an elsewhere or an otherwise.” The poor—and increasingly anyone outside the gilded circle of “the 1 percent”—are indeed “written off as trash,” detritus of the quest for efficiency, human refuse piling up not only in Calcutta, Mumbai, or Mexico City, but also in Palo Alto and San Francisco, where the technocrats of Silicon Valley dispossess workers from their homes to build mansions scaled to their colossal self-regard.

The Operator remains in the saddle, riding humankind; but with anger and dissent on the rise—Syriza in Greece, Podemos in Spain, Bernie Sanders and Black Lives Matter here at home—the Soul may be gathering strength to embark on another, more enduring reclamation of terrain, and, if it does, John Berger will deserve our attention as one of its greatest contemporary prophets. Renowned and even beloved as both novelist and art critic, Berger has also become an unlikely moral and metaphysical sage. “You can’t talk about aesthetics without talking about the principle of hope and the existence of evil,” he declared in The Sense of Sight(1985). Not that his revolutionary spirit has withered; that flame is lower but remains incandescent. But Portraits, a miscellany from his career as a writer, records the evolution of this “principle of hope”—a reference, no doubt, to Ernst Bloch, the closest thing to a theologian ever produced by the Marxist tradition. Like the other two panels of Bosch’s triptych—The Garden of Eden and The Garden of Earthly Delights—Portraits offers “a torchlight in the dark,” a glimpse of an elsewhere or an otherwise, a way of seeing the visible world that Berger might agree to call sacramental.”

The pain that has a broken heart

From “And our faces, my heart, brief as photos” by John Berger

“The existence of pleasure is the first mystery. The existence of pain has prompted far more philosophical speculation. Pleasure and pain need to be considered together, they are inseparable. Yet the space filled by each is perhaps different…

It has always been, in principle, simpler to relieve pain than to give pleasure or make happy. An area of pain is more easily located. With one enormous exception – the emotional pain of loss, the pain that has a broken heart. Such pain fills the space of an entire life. It may have begun with a single event but the event has produced a surplus of pain. The sufferer becomes inconsolable. Yet what is this pain, if it is not the recognition that what was once given as pleasure or happiness has been irrevocably taken away?”

(Italics mine)


Marx revisited.


For more articles on the fetishization of work:


“Automation, Artificial Intelligence (AI) and robots are transforming the world of work and the human condition. The promise of new technology is changing our attitudes to work, life and leisure – change will be forced upon us, not least because the idea that the means to life should be conditional on employment is now bankrupt. The increasing supply of labour is looking for employment within an economy in which demand for labour is falling dramatically. Pricing labour according to supply versus demand has driven millions into destitution – one only has to look at youth unemployment in Europe for the evidence.

“The protestant work ethic was a product of the industrial revolution and we’ve been conditioned from birth to believe that without a job, we are incomplete human beings. Is the right to be lazy immoral or is being enslaved to this abusive and destructive political economy a grave error in human thinking?

“Antiwork – a radical shift in how we view “jobs” by Brian Dean
Over a decade into the 21st century, we seem as work-obsessed as ever. Is it time for a progressive reframing of workand leisure?

“If you are in any doubt as to what the future holds in terms of employment, watch “Humans need not apply” – that is the cold, hard reality of today’s political economy.”

Our Alienation from Work By Summer Pappachen | Sep 25, 2017



God’s submarine.

Agonistic mysotheism, mysotheism, dystheism, agnosticism, atheism: thinking against religion, God etc.

“Religions are like submarines: they are enclosed and protected from the outside world and threatened by other submarines. Each submarine has posted rules and regulations which must be obeyed in order for those who occupy it to survive. “Keep door closed.” “Do not open without authorization.” “Do not block entrance.” “Danger: hazardous material enclosed.” “Restricted Area, authorized personnel only.” Everything on board is authorized, restricted, or absent, by authority of the commanders. All they allow or deem “necessary” is onboard. Leaving the sub on one’s own is certain death. The security of the mighty fortress is a prison. Without scientific help and fresh air from the outside world, all within would suffocate. Yet each religious community fears and damns the worldly discoveries that will free them from confinement.”



“No one argues the fact that Christian prayers have consistently failed to result in the grow-back of amputated limbs. There is no reputable report of this ever happening. Given this universal agreement, the challenge is to explain why.

For an atheist, the explanation is simple- the human body is not capable to regenerate limbs, other than a few minor items like fingertips. This ability was lost long ago in our evolutionary past. Our distant cousins, starfish and salamanders, have retained this capability.

For the Christian, the explanation becomes more problematic, especially in the wake of scriptures like this:

John 14:13

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”

The stock apologetic answer is that God does not want to perform acts that would not leave doubters a way to remain in their doubt, or remove the need for believers to have faith. So the only prayers he will answer are those that appear to be the result of natural processes. Therefore, the scripture above should be corrected to say:

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so long as it appears that it might have happened anyway without my help.”

This is the god of Christianity- an invisible, inaudible entity that doesn’t do anything that can’t otherwise be explained by assuming his non-existence. This hardly seems like a limitless god, and until he heals his first amputee, a person of sound mind should remain unflinchingly skeptical.”


Why I Am Not a Christian
Essay by Bertrand Russell
Bart Ehrman (books, including five New York Times bestsellers: How Jesus Became God, Misquoting Jesus, God’s Problem, Jesus Interrupted and Forged. Ehrman is the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and is a leading authority on the New Testament and the history of early Christianity).